Journal

#60_ 09.28.24_slow and steady

“Nothing lasts forever, someone told me so. Life is always changing it ain’t what you think you know. Even if you’re standing still you’re floating in space, so grab a hold of your heart and you’ll find your place. In this crazy beautiful life.” - Nick Mulvey

I have never felt more at home and displaced at the same time as I was in 2022.   In March of that year, Andy and I decided to move  from Asia, our two bulldogs in tow, to the United States after living in various places.  I had lived in Thailand, Dubai and Singapore while Andy spent years in Australia & Palau (B.P./ Before Peewee).  In this displacement I found space and time to draw again.

I had always loved-drawing as a kid.  I was the type who took no pleasure in sharp pencils and crayons, and to my Mama’s horror would melt them or use them all up within 3 days of buying them.  She was never sure if I would amount to anything, I declared as a 4 year old I wanted to be a 'cashier' & recall pretending to know how to speak Japanese (only to end up working in Tokyo for a few years) while my sister said she wanted to be a doctor.   When we grew up, my brother embraced his creative gene full-time (my sister blessed as she is can’t draw for shit and did end up being a doctor) while I had one foot in the clouds, drawing when I had time and another on the ground with a corporate job I keep to this day.  

Amidst a mouthful of embarrassingly long titles, my most important job continues to be to create.  

It is simple, I am happiest when I "make."

As with some artists’ work, mine were born from Muses, whose siren songs wailed in my heart too noisily I just had to let song to paper.   One piece of art is an ode to my husband and the marine life he has lovingly dedicated his life to protecting & another a  tribute to my friend Death, devilishly handsome who has gently whispered in my ear :   “Hey, you know you’re not going to live forever, right?”

 So I respond, "It feels right and time is short."   I draw and put my heart on my sleeve for you to feel what I feel, see what I see and hopefully it sings to your heart the way it does to mine when I look at it.                                                

In art, I have learned that the tragedy lies not in an ugly outcome but in the not trying.